Engaging in extended hours of computer programming on a daily basis over the period of many years will slowly condition you into looking at the world through the lens of data and logic. People connect with one another on a fabric made from language, feeling and emotion, all of which don’t operate on the rules of abstract mathematics. Thinking with computers, to some extent, numbs your mind to the intricacies of language, which over time can make it increasingly difficult to participate meaningfully in almost any kind of social discourse.
If conversation is something that doesn’t come naturally to you, if you’re having to put too much effort into it or if you’re dealing with even trace amounts of social anxiety, you will always be somewhat discouraged from engaging with people. It is impossible to surround yourself with people if you are not able to connect with them. Your inability to communicate effectively is not only going to keep you from charming your date or closing that deal you’ve been trying to negotiate for weeks at work, but it will manifest itself in a way that will keep you at a distance from people in general.
There’s one thing in being a raconteur, another in being able to simply connect with another person on an emotional level. Each and every exchange, regardless of how tiny or forgettable it might seem, is an opportunity that can be utilised to establish or further strengthen your connection with people. If you are consistently unsuccessful in day to day conversation, what makes for the bulk of your social interaction, you are carelessly passing up on those opportunities. Over a long period of time, before you can even stop to realise it, you will be left with little to no connections at all. That is what eventually leads to social isolation. When you begin to fade away like you don’t exist anymore, slowly turning invisible to your friends, your family and society at large.